What is a good man?

We all ask this question at some point in our lives and it’s something that has been in the minds of men for thousands of years. Every civilization had their own definition of what a good man is and here’s what I think a good man is.

Literature displays humanity’s ideals and values especially when it comes to defining the hero of the story. And for every story, it is but a reflection of the minds and hearts of its context. The hero is always meant to face a conflict and rise to the occasion and be the exemplar of the good. And what is good is dictated by how the culture defines it.

For the age of heroes, it the hero is brave and strong. A man capable of facing the brutal forces of nature and the fury of enemies. Yet continually showing virtue and setting the good example.

Medieval times showed how godliness and faithfulness to the divine as the highest mark of goodness and thus the moral zeitgeist manifests in every hero of every time.

It is safe to say that the 21st century has its own definition of what a good man is. But I think that there is no such thing as a single description of a good man these days.

The plurality of cultures and ideas during our times has eliminated the uniformed concept of what a good man is. For me to be able to define in general what a good man is. I would have to attempt to illustrate the timeless characteristics of a good man. And these are things that no culture can deny.

Respect

A good man is a man of respect. Respect isn’t just a product of our cultural conceptualization of religion or morality. But it goes much farther back into our past. Into our evolutionary history, respect can be within the instinctual workings of nature. It is seen in the largest of animals and to the smallest insects. Respect is a recognition of being and identity. Worker ants respect the queen ant and know in there genetics, their role and responsibilities even within their tiny brains. Wolves respect their pack leader and recognize the strength and authority that the alpha carries. Even our pets respect us by identifying us as the source of their survival. And to the human being, we have dived and made respect a lot more complicated. We now decide for ourselves the criteria of who deserves our respect and who doesn’t.

And respect will take any man a long way no matter what point of human history he is in. We show respect to those who we think have the traits that deserve respect. And this I think is the key to being a man of respect in the 21st century. You must ask yourself the question, who am I to be a man that deserves respect. And if respect comes naturally to you and given to you by other without your own intentionality, that’s where you can be sure that you are a good man.

So it’s 2021. How can I be a man of respect?

There are many ways one could go about this like attaining wealth, fame, power and authority. But I think the simplest way to put it is to BE YOURSELF.

Your identity is who you are and you cannot change that. And when you try to be other people, you will surely not be as productive and successful as you could be. Dive into self introspection and find out who you are. Because when you know your strengths, when you know your weaknesses and when you know where you can improve, that is where you can find good fertile soil for you to invest your future in.

Respect is deserved. And you might be born rich or in good status already. But that won’t be the source of who you are. You are what you have been and done from the start of your life and the present. You won’t be given respect for something you didn’t work for. But that’s okay. Life is like this. But be yourself and when you reach your maximum potential. No doubt you will have the confidence and people will know what you have done for yourself. And I think that’s what being a man of respect is. To be someone deserving of respect means that you are the grit and engine to who and where you are now.

Love

A good man is a man of love. Love is the one absolute constant in human history. It is obvious in nature and like respect, we have complicated it wit our cultural webs and it it is now the greatest factor to mankind’s actions.

What does being a man of love mean?

Love may have rooted from our evolutionarily attained characteristics to reproduce. But it has become a different dimension to us humans. We have made love romantic, unconditional, universal, even divine. When before it was merely incentivized by hormones and physical attraction and pleasure.

Love traverses all cultures though it takes many forms. Yet, love also has a permanent face that never changes amidst all the cultures and ideas it blends itself into. And I be a man of love you have to understand and manifest these love absolutes in your life. Manifest these in order to become a good man.

What is a man of love?

A man of love is selfish. This might sound bad but I think this is really what love is. Love is inherently just a desire to fulfill your own happiness. And that’s okay. A father loves his children so much that he works long hours because he is selfish in that his happiness is to provide for them. A husband loves his wife that his own personal dreams are sacrificed because he selfishly wants his wife to stay with him so they can start a family together.

We have to redefine the word “selfish". It has been stigmatized negatively to be selfish. But desires for the good of the self is not inherently evil. We are biological creatures and our selfishness is what allows us to continue our species. Even in religion, we see selfishness in it’s themes as our hope for salvation is innately a selfish desire to save ourselves.

What I mean by this is that, in order to be a man of love, follow your heart and express what you really selfishly want. And it will not fail you and stop you from being happy. Sometimes, we want the wrong things and most of the time evil things. But love is accompanied by another timeless trait of a good man.

And that is.

Power

A good man is a man of power. Power, something we all desire and seek to have. It is undoubtedly the case that humanity sets men of power as the standards of being good men. In contemporary culture, superheroes become obvious candidates for being good men. Ancient times, had strong and powerful heroes. And in all of history. The good man is always a man of power.

What is a man of power?

A man of power not only has capabilities. But it is the fact that what they are capable of is a product of their own character. Sometimes, it’s a gift. Sometimes, it’s inherited. Most of the time, it is the result of their own individual hard work. And this is what a good man is. Someone who has power because of his own credit. And a good man knows what he should and shouldn’t do with his power. Those who fail to follow their own conscience, are weak and most of the time bad men as well.

But the good man knows he has power but he also does what he should do with his power. And this is something that every man should strive for.

So 3 timeless traits of a good man and you will not fail to have this confidence within yourself.

Be a man of respect.

Be a man of love.

And be a man of power.

And you will be a good man.